Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
