Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
