Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
