Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
