I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
