i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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