I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
