Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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