like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
