The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
