I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
