you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
