The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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