:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
