I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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