Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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