yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
