Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
