tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
