You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
