Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
