Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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