dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
