Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
