when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
