My boss' voice literally gives me gas
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
