I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
