my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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