I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
