u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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