Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
