I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
