I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
These tits shall not be calmed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
