We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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