Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
