I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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