you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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