I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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