i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
