all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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