And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Randomize
