we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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