if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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