take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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