it was like his penis was on wheels.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
