He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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