she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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