Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
