I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
