I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
