The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
