The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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